Sunday, December 19, 2010

Playing Catch-Up

Any of you who know me know that this last few weeks has been really crazy, hectic and even a little depressing. Not exactly what I wanted this Christmas, but I'll take what I can get.

We've done a few fun things, and I just wanted to show some pictures of how damn cute my family is.

Here is BoBo at Brylee's third birthday party. I dig this picture. He loves babies. Not the real kind, the doll ones. Even Emory didn't really like dolls. He's a weirdo.

Why, oh why, does this picture make me want to cry? Maybe because Jax looks like a dork? Maybe because I have a brand new niece? Or just because I love my boy so much?

I was going to apologize for Emory's outfit in this picture, but I won't. Because it's just her, and I like letting her be her.

And this is Sophie Kate. She is an angel baby. Brylee was a meanie, but this one is so calm. There is nothing more healing than a new baby.

We also had the annual Tangren family Christmas party and took family pictures before my mom does her surgery and chemo. This is just a snapshot someone took, not the real thing. Don't worry, we got a better photographer than that. What the crap is Amy doing?

My mom, Steve and Chad. Yes, Angie's husband looks just like Chad. Creepy.

Carissa, Aunt Linda, Amy and Travis. I love that Carissa lives in my basement and that Amy always comes over. They keep Travis and I young and always make me laugh. Not to mention they are awesome helpful.

Emory now smiles like a chipmunk. What the? These two are either the best of friends or the worst of enemies, depending on the second.

Burke, Morgan, Jax, Brylee and Emory. These kids are awesome, especially.....

...when they act like this. I love Burke in this.

Chipmunk Face, MeeMee and Bry.

This is my Aunt Amy, who we also called MeMe growing up, and her husband Steve. Anyone think I look like her? Oh ya, and baby Sophie's in there too.

I have a whole new appreciation for the man I married after these last few weeks.

Mom gave Bowen a FatBoy and walked off.

And this is how Amy found him. Dad was not happy when he brought the squished up melted ice cream in his hand to him. Someone should be more responsible for that child after they give him food. Sheesh.

For those of you who have asked and are interested, I am hanging in there. I'm not going to pretend like everything is fine. Because it really, really sucks. I have my good days and bad days. Happy, hopeful moments and bitter, angry moments. But I can't give up. How do you even do that? It's one foot in front of the other. I literally feel like I'm floating at times. Like something is carrying me through the day and protecting me from having to think about things too seriously. I think that's how I get through. One day it'll hit, and I'll face it, but that will all come in the right time. For now I'm just trying to feel how I feel. And allow others to do the same, and not expect them to react like I do. I've definitely learned that people react differently to traumatic situations, and that different is not bad. It's just different.

And in the midst of all this, I still look around and see how blessed I am. With the kids I have, the husband I have, the house I live in, the friends and extended family I have. I still get down, but ultimately it's hard to stay down for long when I have so much. I'm so grateful. Every day. And the gospel and my testimony will get me through this. I could not do it without those two things. I have found it much easier to get over myself and the things that have made me sad for awhile, and focus on other people. Sometimes it takes something like this happening for me to remember how tough I am, and to snap me out of my pity party.

Thank you to everyone who has called, texted, emailed, whatever. I am thankful for so many great friends who are truly concerned with my welfare. I love you all.


Melanie said...

I love you Katie!! What darling pictures. I'm so sorry you have to go through this crappy struggle right now. I'm thinking about you everyday and wish I was closer to help out. We love you!

Nicole said...

Kate- I hope you know we are thinking about all of you! Love you guys! Please let us know what we can do to help!

Janae said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom. My prayers are with you and your family!