Saturday, October 25, 2008

Gordon Smart

Trav's uncle passed away yesterday morning. He is a 57 year old father of five and grandfather of one. He died of a massive heart attack out of the blue. He was a good man and was loved by everyone who knew him. This was a man who sent me a huge box of wafer cookies for my birthday last year when I mentioned in passing that I liked them. He could make you laugh at any time. He had the best heart and you could feel that when you were around him. He will be missed so much by all of us. And to his family, we love you all. So much. I've said it once and I'll keep saying it, this is one of the best families to belong to.

Life is way too short. And it's over way too fast for some people. We love you Gordon, and we miss you already.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Love These People

That sounds like I just said I love myself doesn't it?

Well, it was free family picture time again. I have two professional photographers in the fam - my sister-in-law Melanie and my aunt Amy. So whenever we can we take advantage of them. Here they are.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Heaven help me. This child is nuts! But she's cute. She picked herself a tomato out of the garden the other day and went to town. The big brown eyes makes me smile.
Love this kid.
Some stuff from our garden: onions, jalapenos, and tomatoes...
and the domestic god(dess) of the house blending it all into a yummy salsa blend. Isn't he a babe?
And look what I got today, just for being me? Isn't that sweet? I was blushing.
And isn't it nice to be married to a man who thinks your children are just as special as you think they are?

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Roller Coaster

So this pregnancy has been a series of ups and downs. As my mother in law put it today "I've never seen two people do so many things to get attention." Isn't she funny? But it's true.

When we first found out we were pregnant, I had an infection, so the first test came out positive. We decided after a few days to do another, and after we had already made the announcement (Trav and I aren't ones to hold it in) it came out negative. Doh. So we told everyone to hold off and we waited about three more weeks for another positive. I had a feeling the whole time, but you never know if that's just wishful thinking.

Now, does anybody else remember about a month ago when I had a little meltdown for about a week? You probably don't remember it as well as my husband and my kids do. I was pretty upset for awhile, and it all started when we found out we were having a girl. Boo hoo. Woe is me, I'm so picked on to have three healthy kids. I was being a brat and I knew it, but realizing that and changing it are two separate things. But I worked on it. I even tried to go through all my old girl clothes to get excited.

Well, we went to the doctor again today and he said (in his exact words) that he must have been "off his rocker" last time. He's positive this time that....


Needless to say, I was thrilled. I don't think I'll feel confident until this baby comes out and I can see for myself, but he took about six pictures on the DVD and we watched it again, so we're pretty sure it's a little man. Another one. Now you just watch, he'll be crazy just like my little girl.

I'm a little bipolar about the whole thing. I'm not so rational when I'm pregnant. I feel like I wished away my little girl. I feel like there's a little girl somewhere thinking I don't want her. Everyone laughs at me when I say that. In fact, my mom said "Sorry honey, you don't have that much power." And Trav reminded me that this baby was a boy long before I wished it was. When I'm not pregnant, I have no problem being rational. When I am pregnant, I have some real crazy guilt that's hard to get rid of. Reason number 1,487 that I am grateful for Travis. He keeps me grounded and tells me when I'm being crazy.

So, I'm stoked. And even though I can't wait to have another little boy, this little girl still melts my heart. My sweet little princess. Now she can still be my best friend.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

In October???

Apparently the warm weather is sticking around for another few days. It's been downright hot here in Utah. I know in about a month I'll be missing it, so for now we just decided to enjoy it. As soon as we got home this afternoon my kids wanted to run through the sprinklers so I said.....okay.

Emmer was freezing most of the time, but Jax was doing cartwheels through the sprinklers. It was cute.Sometimes my heart feels like it hurts when I look at them.
The other day I realized how sad it is that Jaxon is so old. I thought, "I never wanted him to turn five. Why can't I get that time back?" And then I thought about when he turns ten, and I'll want this time back. I had this intense desire to stop time. I've never felt that way before, but it was almost a full blown panic. I couldn't stand the thought of them growing up.

Every once in awhile, on a good day, and even for moments on bad days, I get this overwhelming feeling that life is good. It may only last for a moment, but in those moments I am overcome with how much I am blessed. And how I have felt lately that prayers truly are answered, even when I'm leaning on other's faith. There is so much sadness and heartache in the world. Bad things happen, people get sick, the economy tanks, gas and food prices go up and we all deal with struggles daily. How blessed are we to have prophets of God who prepare us for these things? And how blessed are we to have an older brother who understands ALL OF IT. He experienced it all so he could be stronger for us.

When I think of how fast time goes, I find myself wanting to re-commit myself to everything good. We don't have enough time in this life to make decisions that we waste time regretting. When I meet my Savior, I want to feel proud of the life I've lived, and not want to hide the time I wasted. I want him to feel proud of how I utilized his sacrifice in my life, not how I threw it down the drain.

This cute boy below is serving a mission in Taiwan. He is dedicating two years of his life to teaching the gospel to others, not to increase our numbers, but to SPREAD HAPPINESS. His commitment makes me want to live the gospel that much more. If he can dedicate so much of his life, can't I live the gospel better here, from the comfort of my own home, in my native language? I think so.

Here's a few excerpts from his letters this week.

To my dad: Think about that, isn't it so cool? You are a disciple of Jesus Christ! I take so much pride in wearing His name over my heart every day. You can do that same thing.

To my mom: Keep fighting and don't worry about the turmoil of the Lord. I sometimes listen to an efy song that says 'The day will come, He will arrive, gather all His people, from all the world.' It's talking about the 2nd coming and it just helps me to really find peace in all that goes on around me. LIfe is crazy, even as a missionary but we have the peace and comfort of the Gospel. We are on the right path, don't forget it.

I could not be more proud. ALMOST makes me excited for Jaxon to go:).